Boyfriend seeks wholesome help from the online cat community after losing his loving relationship with girlfriend's cat: 'It really upsets me'

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Mar 13, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Howdy, feline fam. We all know that cats are sensitive creatures. They can take their sweet time to warm up to people, are not the best at dealing with change, and even the smallest thing can set them into a grudge-holding state that lasts throughout all of their nine lives. You might not even know what you did to make them dislike you, but it really can be something so miniscule you didn't even realize you did it (like, fur example, take their spot on the couch without asking purrmission first).

This story below is a tale as old as time - girlfriend adopts kitten, boyfriend helps her raise the kitten, boyfriend falls in love with cat, boyfriend finally moves in because things are getting serious, then….cat starts to distance herself from boyfriend. Obviously, this hurts boyfriend's feelings because he grew attached to this cute kitty, and all of a sudden, she doesn't even want to be around him. Luckily, the online cat community came to his aid, so scroll down to see all of their wholesome answers below!

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  • 01

    (Help) Girlfriends Cat Doesn’t Like Me Anymore… ):

    Cheezburger Image 10478157056
    via u/GL_firefly

  • That is one awwdorable-looking cat. We understand why he would be upset that she didn't like him anymore. If one of our cats suddenly stopped liking us, we would also be in a tumultuous tizzy. Luckily, our cats only view us as can openers, so they don't have much emeowtional attachment to us anyway (joking).

  • 02
    My girlfriends cat Boo (pictured) is 2 years old and recently she's been growing less fond of me. I've been friends with my girlfriend for over 2 years before we started dating which also means I've known her cat for the entirety of her life from kitten to
    via u/GL_firefly
  • 03
    adult. Before we moved in together Boo had no problem walking up to me rubbing me affectionately and doing other general cat things that typically are signs that a cat likes you, even after she brought her cat to live in my house the cat was still warm towards me. I know
    via u/GL_firefly
  • 04
    getting used to new environments can be scary for cats because they have to adapt to a new environment but in the past few months Boo acts very timid towards me, she won't come into my room by herself, she stares at me if we are in the same room together, and runs away if I get too close to her.
    via u/GL_firefly
  • 05
    The only time she seems to enjoy my company is if she's in heat, in which case she becomes a little attention fiend and never leaves my side. I'm a huge fan of pets and never mistreat her or intentionally hurt her (I admit I have cut her nails too short a few times but have since learned the correct
    via u/GL_firefly
  • 06
    length). It really upsets me that we no longer have the closeness that we used to have and I miss when she was more affectionate towards me. If anyone has any advice to help grow my relationship with my girlfriends
    via u/GL_firefly
  • 07
    cat that would be so much appreciated. I will also attach a picture of the little princess below, I hope you enjoy (:
    via u/GL_firefly
  • 08
    SPR
    via u/GL_firefly

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  • 09
    Rickleskilly · 21h ago .• If she hasn't been spayed, that's part of the problem. Her biology and instincts are telling her one thing, but she's trapped and can't do that thing. She's probably stressed and anxious. I don't know why the decision was made not to spay her, but your GF might want to reconsider.
    via u/Rickleskilly
  • 10
    National_Ideal7938 • 20h ago Get her spayed. Being around a male all the time has thrown her off and cats don't exactly communicate well when they're freaked out. It's mostly "get away from me or istg I'll bite you" energy. Also just get her used to associating you with good stuff that she likes.
    via u/National_Ideal7938
  • 11
    Figure out what her favorite toy is and play with her for a little bit, then maybe throw a treat her way after to make her feel like she's being rewarded for just being a playful cat. Give her space when she's acting a bit skittish too. Imagine if Godzilla were chasing after you to try and
    via u/National_Ideal7938
  • 12
    grab you and pick you up, that's essentially the world pets live in with us Slow blinking when she's staring at you will also help. And giving her areas that she can observe you from will acclimate her to your presence again too!
    via u/National_Ideal7938
  • 13
    keithedwardpittman • 20h ago Oh my, that looks so much like my old man I lost back in December, Sylvester was 14, lost him to stomach cancer, I absolutely enjoyed seeing your baby.
    via u/keithedwardpittman
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10478153728
    via u/keithedwardpittman
  • 15
    Historical_Sir9996 · 21h ago Spaying would make her soo much calmer. Also give her some time, she will come around.
    via u/Historical_Sir9996

  • We've just always spayed and neutered our cats - it's not even a question for us anymore. Everyone is allowed to do whatever they want with their pets, but it's just more convenient for us this way. We have to say that we agree with the commenters.

  • 16
    moozertje 21h ago • Did this start happening after the nail cutting incidents? Cats hold grudges, sort off. Try winning her over by playing with her, rewarding her with treats when she plays well, and let her smell you out before petting her. And if the first is the case, never cut those nails again. Get rid of the "cut in my flesh guy" association.
    via u/moozertje
  • 17
    Edit: I should point out that behavioral changes often also stem from a medical problem. Maybe get her checked by a vet to see if she's healthy.
    via u/moozertje
  • 18
    cclambert95 . 20h ago Get her "fixed" and you might be surprised that the problem is fixed as well.
    via u/cclambert95
  • 19
    JadziaEzri81 • 20h ago I definitely agree with all the comments saying to get her spayed. But also, have you changed colognes or body wash or shampoo recently? If so, she might not like the new scent that you have and that might be why she's not hanging around you as much
    via u/JadziaEzri81
  • 20
    AromaLadySam • 20h ago. I think if financial issues are preventing her from being spayed, check pricing at the humane society in your city, or if your city has spay programs with discounts/vouchers. I know I got into my humane society with my kitten for less than $100 and getting in was pretty easy too.
    via u/AromaLadySam
  • 21
    jennzillahhhh • 20h ago I can tell you really care for this little cutie, thanks for coming here for advice! Un- spayed cats can suffer from health issues (ovarian cysts/uterine infections) because of their constantly fluctuating hormone levels. It will be way
    via u/jennzillahhhh
  • 22
    more costly down the road if she doesn't get spayed, which is usually a procedure that costs less than $100. It should be a priority to save the money up and get her spayed ASAP.
    via u/jennzillahhhh
  • 23
    Fragmental_Foramen • 16h ago I wouldnt take it personally, as someone who has worked with animals for 10+ years they act very different if their environment changes slightly. It doesn't make sense to you but to her you living there is different from you visiting. They change their entire temperment over something seemingly so small.
    via u/Fragmental_Foramen
  • 24
    I would give it time, patience, and lots of positive reinforcement. If you arent already the main feeder do that so she associates you with a positive thing. Im sure there's more and better advice I just wanted to give you some backgrounds, animals have different perceptions of the world than you do
    via u/Fragmental_Foramen
  • 25
    Door-cat 21h ago Who feeds the cat? Also, is the cat motivated by food?
    via u/Door-cat
  • 26
    Katnap-666 · 21h ago I would always make sure she comes to you on her own terms. Most cats don't like to be picked up or touched without letting them sniff first.
    via u/Katnap-666
  • 27
    Tbh in the second picture she looks like she is being forced to cuddle. She doesn't look too happy... of course it's hard to tell from just a frame but my cats look like that when they're about to hit ya because they had enough.
    via u/Katnap-666
  • 28
    Try to play with her daily and give her treats when she comes to you. I think the other users gave good advise too. (:
    via u/Katnap-666

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boyfriend aww wholesome adorable cat community cute help relationships girlfriend cute cats advice Cats animals
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